


Little nightmare

by weird_au_ideas



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: I am still horrible at tags, I mean, I put it there just to be safe, Not Really Character Death, Suicide, i dunno man, trigger warninig: suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21606691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weird_au_ideas/pseuds/weird_au_ideas
Summary: Virgil woke up in the middle of the day only to find out that no side was present and Deceit's door was locked.Taking the spare key,he goes in to find out what happened.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Little nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guess who crawled back into the mortal realm to post again?  
> I'm sorry for posting that rarely and I'm working on being a little more productive with writing instead of doodling all day!  
> this little idea appeared and made me suffer,so I posted it here so that others can suffer with me!  
> If there are any warnings I should tag please let me know!  
> Hope you enjoy!

Virgil awoke under his bunch of blankets piled upon him,the tiniest slither of sunlight trying to make it's way into his mess of a room.He was hugely disoriented as he usually didn't wake up on his own,squinting his eyes to get a better look at his Halloween themed clock.  


'5pm? Weird...'  


Falling out of bed,Virgil made his way to his bathroom,stumbling over one or the other object carelessly thrown onto the ground,making a mental note to clean up;even though the only person that has been in here aside from himself is Deceit,who isn't the tidiest himself,always putting someone else's needs in front of his own.Looking into the mirror Virgil could only cringe,seeing as he forgot to remove his eye shadow the night before which was now smeared all over his face,hair sticking in all possible directions.As he started to wash his face Virgil was going through his head,trying to remember the previous day,carefully applying the new eye shadow in the meantime.  


He remembers Deceit arranged a 'games night',wanting every side living there to show up and spend time together.While some were easily talked into the evening,like Remus,who was honestly enthusiastic about everything,some others were more difficult to persuade,like Virgil,whose social anxiety went through the roof just thinking about it.Hell,he can't even attend breakfast in the morning because of it,Deceit being kind enough to bring him a plate every morning,saying how they have to look out for each other every time Virgil would start to apologize.  


"Don't apologize for being the person you are! It may be true that we all have our own problems but we don't have to face them alone,isn't that right Virge?"  


Thinking about Dee's statement made Virgil realize something,snickering slightly as he started to change his clothes.Deceit is pretty much the single dad of the 'dark sides',looking after everyone and always trying to get them together for some 'quality time'. He's always there to calm Rage down when something angered him,always there to remind Desperation there are things that are worth keep living for,and always there to comfort Remus,telling him that he is as important as the others.It must be emotionally straining Deceit a lot,not that Virgil would know,trying to avoid as much social contact as possible.Though that brought up a question in Virgil's head.  


Did the others ever do something _for_ Deceit? Sure,Dee always wants them to believe that he doesn't want anything in return,seeing everyone happy apparently being good enough.But that couldn't possibly be all,a wish not spoken aloud and hidden away from them.It seems so selfish that they never did something in return,a sour taste building on his tongue thinking about it.It's strange how much they rely on Deceit.To make something nice for him would be the least Virgil could do.  


Checking his outfit one last time,Virgil made his way to the door,shaking hand holding the doorknob,though not quite turning it.The whole time thinking up a plan to help Deceit made him forget about his own anxiety,leaning his head against the door as his breathing get faster.There are guaranteed people out at this hour,that will talk to him,probably without Dee there as support.Doubt started filling his mind,worst case scenarios flooding his brain,trying to drag him down.Virgil slowly fell for those thoughts,legs getting weaker,until he reminded himself why he's doing this.He was going out there for Deceit,to do something nice for him,to play him at least a little back for all his help.  


Collecting all the courage he could get,Virgil went out the door,not giving himself enough time to regret the decision.But he noticed rather quick that his worry was for nothing,as it was complete silence.An unnerving feeling spread in him as there is usually at least some sort of background noise,whether it was Rage yelling in his room,Remus causing mischief somewhere,or Desperation's sobs that echoed through the hallway.  


Virgil shook his head in a quick fashion as he made his way to Deceit's door,painted black with yellow snakes engraved on it.He stopped for a minute trying to think of something that would not only help Dee but also be meaningful,showing he really cares for the scaled side as much as he cares about the others.Taking one last moment to gather his thoughts into a sentence,Virgil turned the doorknob,only to find out that it was locked,a simple fact that brought Virgil back on edge,as Dee's door was always open,being there if anyone needs him.Only in the rarest of times would he lock himself in his room,the reason most often being an encounter with the 'other sides' who Virgil never really met but could guess based on Deceit's stories how bad it was.  


"Bunch of sides that hold themselves over us,thinking they are the only essentials.Logic,never showing any emotion,only stating facts,never speaking up when the other two step over him.then Creativity,of course,his black and white thinking influencing not only Thomas but also Morality.And last but not least Morality,who's probably the main reason we're kept hidden.Always wanting to do what is 'right',not taking any other opinions,talking the others down until they agree with him.Be lucky that you don't have to interact with them..."  


Deceit's stories always left a knot in Virgil's stomach,anxiety rising just thinking about the stuff Dee had to go through because of them.Maybe he just needed time for himself again and Virgil is just interrupting.Maybe he will just be a nuisance,negative thoughts getting at him.Though a little detail he remembered changed his feelings quickly.  


Deceit woke him up for breakfast, _always_ ,with no exceptions.Why would he be locked in his room that early.Not only that but that would mean he is in his room since then,which would be the longest he has ever isolated himself,those facts worrying Virgil more than he thought was possible.Two options were now in front of Virgil.The first option being to use the spare key Dee left for emergencies,barging in to see what he's doing,or the second option,which is to just return to his own room as Deceit is probably doing fine and Virgil is just overthinking again,helping no one with his actions.The second option sounded a lot easier,and better,but Virgil wouldn't be satisfied with leaving it at that.He couldn't leave it like this,no matter how hard he might try,so he got the spare key seated atop the door and unlocked it,looking into what seemed like an endless darkness that Deceit's room was engulfed in.  


Starting to walk in slow and with care,Virgil's eyes got adjusted to the darkness in a short time,being pretty used to orientate himself in such dark environments,mainly being his own room.As he made his way through Dee's room,he took a look at his desk,noticing a bunch of papers littering it,most of them crumpled up,the bin underneath overflowing with paper.His wardrobe that stood beside the desk was also a complete mess.Clothes were strewn about,as if they were frantically thrown out to search for something.  


But Virgil didn't take more time to look around as his eyes focused on a sleeping figure on Deceit's bed,walking at a faster pace to him.The first strange thing that was visible was that Deceit still wore his day clothes,meaning he didn't change into his pajamas for the night.Virgil quickly wrote it off as Dee just being that exhausted that he didn't care to change,his hat being weirdly enough nowhere in sight,though a glance at his nightstand changed that theory.A glass of water was laying on it,tipped over,some water dripping down onto the floor,as if it was drunk in a frantic fashion,the items next to it stopping Virgil's breathing.A pack of sleeping pills was ripped open,tons of them missing,a few scattered across the nightstand.  


It couldn't be.  


Virgil grabbed Deceit by the shoulders,trying to wake him up,tears forming in his eyes as he laughs in a nervous manner.  


"Dee,c'mon,wake up,its already too late to be sleeping.Its probably time to prepare lunch,I'm even going to help you.We could even have a movie night with the others,like you always want......"  


A few tears were starting to roll down his cheeks,voice getting thinner by the word.As he took a glance back at the nightstand ,he noticed a piece of paper that he didn't see before.Taking it,he started to unfold it with shaky hands,not wanting to believe what is happening.As he started to read his eyes widened,blinking the tears away to clear his vision.  


* * *

Dear whoever is reading this,  


I know it's probably you Virgil,as you couldn't stop yourself from checking up on me,You always give yourself not enough credit,though you look out for everyone as much as I do,Hell,maybe even more.Though that's probably not the reason you are reading this.  


I am terribly sorry. I wish it didn't come to this.   


I thought I could fake it til I make it,just faking happiness until I have it. That doesn't mean I wasn't happy around all you,far from it.These evenings were we would just spend time together were some of the best times in my existence,maybe really the only times I was really happy.

None of you are at fault for this,don't even think about it.It was all my own fault,as I couldn't find the courage to talk with someone about it but rather keep it hidden inside me until it was just too much.I'm so so sorry for leaving you like this.I hope the others aren't going to be too devastated and are able to continue on without me.  


Now that I'm not here anymore you'll have to figure out who ,makes the meals,but I think that Desperation is going to happily take the duty,seeing his fascination by cooking.  


Could I please have one promise from you?  


I know that you're socially anxious,its your job after all,but could you please look after the others for me?Even if its just a little ,like soothing words towards Rage,words of encouragement towards Desperation,or words of comfort towards Remus.  


I can't even imagine how they are going to react and I,like a coward,left you to find this little note and give them the news.  


I was presenting myself as someone stronger than I could ever be,carrying the fears and sorrows not only of you all,but also take the harsh words of the other sides.How foolish I was to lie that they didn't get under my skin.  


But please,no matter what,keep going.I could never forgive me if any of you were giving up because of my actions.I know how important some depicted me as but they have to learn that they're their own person.  


And that also goes to you;Virgil.Please.  


don't ever give up.  


For me.  


Love,  


Your Dee

* * *

the letter was crumpled by the time Virgil finished reading it,hands tightening,tears not stopping anytime soon.  


He couldn't have it true,shaking Deceit even harder,sentences made out of sobs and few words.  


"Deceit.........WAKE UP..........please.........we need you............."  


But his body was still not moving,laying peacefully with both eyes shut,never to open again.As the realization started to seep more into Virgil,his once silent tears turned into loud sobs,hitting his fists against Deceit's chest as some last hope that he would wake up,but he still remained silent.  


" **WHY**?! WHY YOU?!........... _ **ITS NOT FAIR**_!...."  


His bawls were filling the room,no sign of the other sides anywhere.  


A voice started to talk to Virgil,quietly,sounding all too familiar.  


But it couldn't be true! Deceit was gone!  


continuing crying,that quiet voice got louder until Virgil could make out the words.  


"Virgil?!"  


He couldn't sense were it came from,deciding to ignore it as best as he could.  


"Virgil! Wake up!"  


As it got even louder Virgil took his head in his hands,shaking it as if that could get him out of the situation.  


"VIRGIL WAKE UP"  


Those last words seemed to do the trick as he jolted up from his previous position ,suddenly finding himself in the common room ,some movie running on the TV.He took a minute to process before he realized he was sleeping partly on Deceit,turning around and hugging him as tight as possible,never wanting to let go.As tears of relief started to go down his face,the soothing voice of Deceit spoke up,obviously concerned about the anxious side.  


"Virgil,are you okay? What happened? We were having a movie night and you fell asleep halfway through it.The others are already back in their beds.I didn't want to interrupt your sleep but you started to cry and yell!"  


He started to gently pet Virgil`s head while reminding him of his breathing exercises ,getting him to calm a little down.After some time Virgil let go off Deceit ,looking down as he voiced his request.  


"Dee,please never leave us..."  


"Why would I ever leave you?" You know how important all of you are to me!"  


Seeing the somber expression on Virgil he could only guess what the dream was about.  


Clearing his throat,he got Virgil to look back at him,slowly putting his hands on Virgil's shoulders as he started to speak again.  


"Virgil,I know that the nightmare you had was horrifying and seemed real BUT no matter what,don't ever think that I'll ever leave you.No matter what.We may have our problems but we are family,remember?"  
  


And with that said,he let go of Virgil's shoulders,stretching his arms out to invite him for a hug,which he gladly accepted.Virgil couldn't care about anything else at the moment,as they sat there on the floor in the common room,movie long forgotten playing in the background,the hug being all he needs to have,reminding him just how much Deceit cared for them.  


He would never leave them.  


  


**Author's Note:**

> What a doozy this was!  
> If any of you want to request something feel free to! I'm always happy to get some inspiration!  
> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
